How Healing Our Inner Self with Love Takes Time and Patience

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Healing Takes Time

Parental love is essential for healing our inner child. Parents provide more than just food, shelter, and support—they shape how we perceive the world and ourselves. Your relationship with your parents becomes the foundation for nearly every adult relationship you will have.

When that love is withdrawn, the emotional and psychological impact on a young child can be devastating.

“She held herself until the sobs of the child inside subsided entirely. I love you, she told herself. It will all be okay.
— H. Raven Rose


A Wounded Child Needs Time to Heal

When children are emotionally abandoned or left behind, they often blame themselves. They wonder, “Am I not smart enough? Not lovable enough? Not good enough?” Their self-worth gets tangled in their parents’ absence.

Some write heartbreaking letters to their missing parents—letters filled with confusion, sorrow, and anger.


A Letter to Absent Parents

Why do you hate me? Why did you leave mom? We waited… I waited… but you never came home. Is it because I’m not smart enough? Or because I don’t always listen? You said you’d come back. You always say that… but you never do. And now I feel like I was never good enough to be loved.

This kind of pain leaves deep scars. Many children who grow up feeling emotionally abandoned struggle with depression, anxiety, and an inability to trust. The wounds carry into adulthood, affecting their relationships and self-image.


Support, Love, and Patience: The Path to Inner Healing

Whether you’re healing your own inner child or supporting someone else, the first step is always creating a safe, caring environment—one that validates pain without shame.

Understand that abandonment, while deeply personal in feeling, is not a reflection of your worth. Often, parents who leave are themselves wounded children, repeating cycles of neglect they once endured.


Acceptance Is the First Step

Abandonment is real—and painful. But healing begins with acceptance.

  • Accept that you were hurt.

  • Accept that you didn’t deserve it.

  • Accept that healing is possible—even if it takes time.

This process doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing. It means recognizing the pain so that it can finally be released.


Healing Is a Work in Progress

Feelings of sadness, anger, and loneliness are part of your healing story. The goal is not to erase them, but to channel them into growth. Journaling, art, therapy, and affirmations can all be powerful tools.

The decision your parent made was not your fault.
There was nothing you could have done to change it.
You were always enough.


Let the Healing Begin

Children who’ve been abandoned often grow into adults afraid to love, to trust, to be seen. They hide their pain even from themselves. But hiding isn’t healing.

You have to acknowledge your suffering, your loneliness, your shame—and forgive yourself for holding on so tightly. You were doing your best to survive.

Embrace the brokenness. Then slowly, with love and patience, begin to stitch it back together.

Forgiveness is the salve. Time is the thread. Love is the needle.

How have you begun healing your inner self? Leave a comment below or share a letter to your inner child.

17 Comments

  1. This is a very good post. Even children who come from divorced parents often feel abandoned which is sad. They often think it’s their fault when it isn’t at all.

  2. Feeling alone is a terrible feeling, and being alone while questioning your own self worth is even harder. I have seen many friends go through various stages of dealing with it, and it is such a process to try and understand it’s not your fault while being accountable for your own behavior that stems from these feelings.

  3. My sister-in-law abandoned all three of her children. She just went to work one day and decided never to come back home. She is a 40+ year old woman and she still lives with her parents. The sad part is that her ex husband died a few years ago, so they lost both their parents. They grew up with their grandparents. Her children are now teens, and the youngest has tried committing suicide at least once. I despise her for what she did to those kids. Any time we invite my mother-in-law over to visit, she brings my SIL along, and then my SIL actually tries to give me parenting advice.

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