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Wish You Knew How Much I Wanted Your love

Dear Dad,  I wish you knew how much I wanted your love.

Hearing your voice brings joy to my heart. I wish I could say these things to your face, but I’m not strong enough. I can’t trust you’ll react well. So I’m saying this right here sitting behind my computer. I hope my words will reach your heart and not your ears.

“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.” Sigmund Freud 

Wish Knew How much I wanted your love

Missing a Father’s Love

Miss you

Miss the words “I love you.”

Wish the word abandon was a lie.

Miss being an innocent child, but I can’t wait to grow and spread my wings. I’m scared of being a teen. Most days, I don’t know what to do with myself.

Wish you here more often. Even when you’re here in person, you’re never here with me. Always busy, always tired, drinking, always irritated. Am I a burden? You act like I am.

 Wanted your Love.

I wish you so much love yet I wish you nothing. It’s a strange feeling. You left me long before you left the house: left me alone and left me to others, left me to the streets, left me to “get what I deserve.” Hate you? Not at all. But my pain makes me so angry toward you. It was never fair, but never your fault. I couldn’t help it.

Yet I’m stronger because of it. I have my limits and only wish I knew better. Without the most important part of my life, I grew up faster and had to make do.

Wish you Knew

Daddy, life is empty. Though I feel cheated, I forgive you. I wish you would make an effort to understand. I’ve been so compliant, or at least, I’ve tried to be as compliant as my hurt would let me be. Tried, watched, cried, and wished so hard to escape.

No excuse

I can’t blame you forever. That’s why I’m writing this letter: to let you in on a part of me I wish would die so I can live. One day, when you’re old, you will miss these moments. And, you’ll wonder where they’ve gone. When that happens, think back on this letter.

On my own

I’m finding my own way now, but it’s hard: the toughest thing I’ve ever had to do and I can’t imagine anything worse. So in a way, I’m grateful you gave me this experience. Only, I wish someone else ripped my heart out—not you. You’re my father. You were supposed to be here for me no matter what.

Love build a child self-esteem as a result, not having Parental love and acceptance can cause feelings of worthlessness in a young child