Christmas: We Will Pretend Happy This Day and Every Day After

Sometimes that means we have to choose to be happy and not wait for it to be so

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How to Show Up When You Feel Like Shutting Down


Pretending Happy – Just for Today

Christmas is a time of joy… or at least, it’s supposed to be. But if you’re like me, depression has stolen far too many special moments. So this year, I’m putting my foot down.

No more letting sadness steal my spirit.
This Christmas, I will pretend to be happy—just for today.

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
Kurt Vonnegut

This isn’t about being fake. It’s about creating space for something real to break through the darkness—even if it’s only for a moment. Even a flicker of true joy matters.


Start Small—Reclaim One Moment

Depression can feel like a thief whispering lies:
“You can’t do this. Not today.”
“You’re not strong enough.”
“You’ll ruin the moment.”

But I’m here to say: Yes, you can.
You can reclaim one moment. And then maybe, one more.

Start with something small:

  • Make your bed.

  • Brew your favorite tea or coffee.

  • Put on a cozy sweater.

  • Light a candle.

Don’t overthink it. Just do one thing that makes the day feel a little more manageable. When you take back control of your actions, you quiet the voice of hopelessness.


There’s No Need to Fake a Smile

Forget the advice to “fake it till you make it.”
Fake smiles are exhausting—and people often see through them anyway.

Instead, focus on this:
Try not to lead with the negative.
You don’t have to paste on joy, just allow yourself to stay neutral.
Maybe even open the door slightly to contentment or peace.

You don’t need to be the life of the party.
You just need to show up.


Eat Well. Drink Water. Rest.

Christmas is full of rich, delicious food—and that’s okay.
But depression can be amplified by how we fuel (or neglect) our bodies.

Here’s what helps:

  • Drink water. Keep a glass nearby all day.

  • Eat with balance. Enjoy the cookies, but don’t skip your real meals.

  • Sleep. Rest is not laziness—it’s repair.

You’re not weak for needing sleep or space. You’re healing.


Expect Nothing. Accept Everything (Including Yourself)

“Expect nothing and accept who you are.”

Let go of the pressure to be that person—the naturally bubbly one who seems to light up a room. You are not them. And that’s okay.

You may not have contagious joy.
But you might have quiet strength, deep empathy, and thoughtful presence.
Own that.


Grow Through the Darkness

Your depression doesn’t disqualify you from understanding Christmas.
If anything, it gives you a deeper understanding of it.

You know what it means to hope when everything feels hopeless.
You know how much courage it takes to get out of bed and face another day.
You understand compassion because you’ve needed it yourself.

And maybe—just maybe—that’s what this season is really about.


Choose Today

“Happiness is a journey and not a destination; happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road. The time for happiness is today, not tomorrow.”
Paul H. Dunn

Many people you see smiling aren’t smiling because everything is perfect. They’re smiling because they’ve chosen to be okay.

This Christmas, don’t force yourself to be anything more than you are. But do push yourself gently. Give yourself the gift of trying.

Even if it’s just pretending happy for one day—that might be the first step toward feeling happy for real.

76 Comments

  1. Sometimes working on the small things does help. I should be sad this year, but I’m not. Not one bit. I appreciate every single thing I ever took for granted, including Christmas. 🙂

  2. I think I’m going to have to take exception with Mr. Vonnegut. I don’t think we are what we pretend to be at all. I think there is value in faking it til you make it, but it’s still faking it. In any event, I wish you a lovely holiday!

    • Patranila,
      I understand and I respect your opinion. If pretending to be happy causes a teen or any person for one movement to feel comfortable I am happy. I am not saying pretending is a cure for teenage depression. No, it’s a shift a distraction taking the focus sort of like a mind-shift.

  3. I just love this quote“happiness is a journey and not a destination; happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it’s too late. The time for happiness is today, not tomorrow.”

  4. It is so important for us all to unplug, reconnect, and enjoy the moment. Getting fresh air and eating well always helps during stressful times of year as well.

  5. I’m all about the water! I drink a gallon a day! Crazy how something so simple can help you feel that much better!

  6. I hope your Christmas turns out to be wonderful. It’s bad how depression can easily ruin things we use to love.

  7. I love your idea of doing a small manageable task every morning to get a sense of accomplishment. Great way to be happy not just during the holiday season but always!

  8. I try and not fake anything. I’ve been faking being happy for so long and now that I’ve decided to just be happy it works out so much better for me.

  9. There’s actually scientific evidence that smiling can MAKE you happy (just Google “smiling makes you happy research” and all sorts of info will pop up). So it’s definitely worth a try. Thanks for a timely, heartfelt post, Patrice.

  10. Good for you! This is great advice for those who need it! I love that quote too. I always choose HAPPY and am thankful for that blessing in my life. May you and your readers find it too. Visiting from BlogShareLearn.

  11. We have to plaster on false smiles for our kids most Christmases. Something always happens on the run up to the big day – family illness, death or theft. I am actually dreading this next week “/

    • Teresa Bowen, Great advice, the expectation, pressure and stress of gift giving can make a person feel depressed. It’s the little things I cherish these days and I am lucky to surround myself with others who are equally charitable.

  12. I appreciate you sharing this with us. I know depression can be a tough fight, but I’m glad to see you taking a stand. Love your tips and how you’re accepting yourself! Merry Christmas!

  13. You know, I had never thought about diet and water intake to be a precursor to happiness, but I guess when you think about it, if you eat crappy you feel crappy and that gives you a crappy attitude. It’s amazing how when things come full circle, the little things make a big difference!

  14. Self-acceptance is probably the single most important thing I learned on the road to conquering depression – that and self-compassion, where you recognize that you deserve love in any moment, no matter how low you feel. This is such powerful advice, wrapped up in such a beautifully written post. Thank you for sharing this and inspiring people to live happier, more fulfilling lives. That’s what I aim to do every single day, too!

    • Michael Noker, Welcome, glad you got a chance to read my blog post. When we learn to accept ourselves others will be less likely to misuse us. Self-acceptance is not easy … forgiving yourself is the start to release the hurt. (Looks like you are on your way) Motto smile more can’t hurt anyone thanks for your support.

  15. I think a lot of people struggle to be happy at Christmas time. I don’t suffer from depression and it’s not my favorite time of year at all. I do all of the expected things, but I’m just counting down until it can all be over and I can get on with my life. #weekendblogshare

  16. I totally feel you on the holiday sadness, but I think it’s wonderful you’re choosing to be happy this year! We can all do with a little more joy in our lives, so why not, right? 🙂 Wishing you the happiest holiday yet!

  17. How lovely! Reminds me a bit of my post-election strategy (I live in the Land Where Trump Was Actually Elected President). I am super extra nice to EVERYONE. Even people who aren’t nice to me first. I open doors, I smile, I offer seats on the bus. It feels really really good. Oh, I found you on #weekendblogshare Have a wonderful weekend!

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