How to Show Up When You Feel Like Shutting Down
Pretending Happy – Just for Today
Christmas is a time of joy… or at least, it’s supposed to be. But if you’re like me, depression has stolen far too many special moments. So this year, I’m putting my foot down.
No more letting sadness steal my spirit.
This Christmas, I will pretend to be happy—just for today.
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
— Kurt Vonnegut
This isn’t about being fake. It’s about creating space for something real to break through the darkness—even if it’s only for a moment. Even a flicker of true joy matters.
Start Small—Reclaim One Moment
Depression can feel like a thief whispering lies:
“You can’t do this. Not today.”
“You’re not strong enough.”
“You’ll ruin the moment.”
But I’m here to say: Yes, you can.
You can reclaim one moment. And then maybe, one more.
Start with something small:
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Make your bed.
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Brew your favorite tea or coffee.
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Put on a cozy sweater.
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Light a candle.
Don’t overthink it. Just do one thing that makes the day feel a little more manageable. When you take back control of your actions, you quiet the voice of hopelessness.
There’s No Need to Fake a Smile
Forget the advice to “fake it till you make it.”
Fake smiles are exhausting—and people often see through them anyway.
Instead, focus on this:
Try not to lead with the negative.
You don’t have to paste on joy, just allow yourself to stay neutral.
Maybe even open the door slightly to contentment or peace.
You don’t need to be the life of the party.
You just need to show up.
Eat Well. Drink Water. Rest.
Christmas is full of rich, delicious food—and that’s okay.
But depression can be amplified by how we fuel (or neglect) our bodies.
Here’s what helps:
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Drink water. Keep a glass nearby all day.
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Eat with balance. Enjoy the cookies, but don’t skip your real meals.
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Sleep. Rest is not laziness—it’s repair.
You’re not weak for needing sleep or space. You’re healing.
Expect Nothing. Accept Everything (Including Yourself)
“Expect nothing and accept who you are.”
Let go of the pressure to be that person—the naturally bubbly one who seems to light up a room. You are not them. And that’s okay.
You may not have contagious joy.
But you might have quiet strength, deep empathy, and thoughtful presence.
Own that.
Grow Through the Darkness
Your depression doesn’t disqualify you from understanding Christmas.
If anything, it gives you a deeper understanding of it.
You know what it means to hope when everything feels hopeless.
You know how much courage it takes to get out of bed and face another day.
You understand compassion because you’ve needed it yourself.
And maybe—just maybe—that’s what this season is really about.
Choose Today
“Happiness is a journey and not a destination; happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road. The time for happiness is today, not tomorrow.”
— Paul H. Dunn
Many people you see smiling aren’t smiling because everything is perfect. They’re smiling because they’ve chosen to be okay.
This Christmas, don’t force yourself to be anything more than you are. But do push yourself gently. Give yourself the gift of trying.
Even if it’s just pretending happy for one day—that might be the first step toward feeling happy for real.
My philosophy is do what works for you and do it some more. Namaste
I’m going to take to hear the advice to sleep and do something small each day. Drops of water eventually run into streams and rivers after all! The small things add up.
i love “expect nothing and accept who you are” this is something we all can relate to
I just want to take a break from work and spend time with my family 🙂 Happy holiday!
Awesome advice. It’s hard not to be happy this season with all the blessings that are coming our way!
I like your expect nothing tip. So often we are let down because we anticipate something that may not happen.
A fake smile will turn into a real one when someone smiles back.
Smile and smile often.
Yes, I agree about letting go and enjoying the moment! I also agree that a fake smile is too obvious.
Expect nothing and accept who you are- awesome quote! I need to be sure to get more rest during this time because the holidays keep me busy.
Drinking water and getting enough sleep certainly helps!
Sometimes working on the small things does help. I should be sad this year, but I’m not. Not one bit. I appreciate every single thing I ever took for granted, including Christmas. 🙂
Roses, I am glad your life is going ok…We all have problems but its how we deal with our issues that makes a difference. Have a blessed Christmas.
These are very helpful tips. Keeping yourself busy will make you forget about whatever is bothering you.
MyTeenGuide, Keeping busy helps to distract you for a day but we still need to deal with our problems eventually thanks for your support.
Great article. Great advice. The first step is to take back control in small/baby steps. I’ve learned that your smile might brighten someone else’s day! Smiles are free!
Kirstin N. Fuller, This christmas I will be happy….Taking baby steps is the key and smile more thanks for your support.
I like what you said…YUP put your foot down indeed…all the best for the season
Mardene Carr, This Christmas I will be happy have a blessed Holiday.
Expect nothing and accept who you are says it all doesn’t it? I really hope you have a lovely Christmas – I remember to count my blessings each day. Kaz
ickle Pickle, Thank you for stopping by Have a merry christmas think positive we will be happy
This is a great post. Sometimes you have to take small steps to get to where you want to be. Thank you for this post.
Powerful post with excellent tips provided! Thanks for sharing and please enjoy your holidays.
I think I’m going to have to take exception with Mr. Vonnegut. I don’t think we are what we pretend to be at all. I think there is value in faking it til you make it, but it’s still faking it. In any event, I wish you a lovely holiday!
Patranila,
I understand and I respect your opinion. If pretending to be happy causes a teen or any person for one movement to feel comfortable I am happy. I am not saying pretending is a cure for teenage depression. No, it’s a shift a distraction taking the focus sort of like a mind-shift.
Having a break or a vacation with the family is enough to make me feel happy these holiday season. Thanks for sharing these post.
I once had someone say I smile too much, which to me is sad, it is good to try and find peace and happiness, Merry Christmas!
Ellen, Do not let that one person change your mind ….Keep spreading the cheers..Be happy.
Smiling is good healing for the soul!! The best part about Christmas is that is usually brings out the good in people.
Shantel Collins, Yes, Christmas brings out happy feelings but there are some people who struggle with the blues.
I’ve struggled for a long time with depression as well and I find when I start pretending to be happy it quickly turns into real happiness 🙂
Shaylee, Just finding a way to be happy help ease the sadness.
I just love this quote“happiness is a journey and not a destination; happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it’s too late. The time for happiness is today, not tomorrow.”
Wonderfully written. There are so many people who are struggling during the holidays. We really should be thankful for what we have.
Bismuth, You are correct we can start now to be grateful of what we have and not look at what we don’t have.
It is so important for us all to unplug, reconnect, and enjoy the moment. Getting fresh air and eating well always helps during stressful times of year as well.
One step at a time is all anybody could ever take. The best thing you can do is get yourself out of the house.
Baby steps. I have to set my big expectations aside and you know, it makes me happier to take what comes. The over prep gets me down. So I do what I can when I want to and it’s so much better that way. Good luck to you.
I’m all about the water! I drink a gallon a day! Crazy how something so simple can help you feel that much better!
I really hope you have a very merry Christmas! You can do it, I know you can!
I hope your Christmas turns out to be wonderful. It’s bad how depression can easily ruin things we use to love.
Robin (Masshole Mommy), Thank you this christmas I will be happy.
I’m going to take some time for myself and reevaluate my new circumstances.
I love your idea of doing a small manageable task every morning to get a sense of accomplishment. Great way to be happy not just during the holiday season but always!
Agree… always be happy and thankful
Thank you so much for this great advice, I don’t like giving a fake smile to everybody. I totally love this post.
I try and not fake anything. I’ve been faking being happy for so long and now that I’ve decided to just be happy it works out so much better for me.
There’s actually scientific evidence that smiling can MAKE you happy (just Google “smiling makes you happy research” and all sorts of info will pop up). So it’s definitely worth a try. Thanks for a timely, heartfelt post, Patrice.
Roxanne Jones, Yes, you are correct about smiling. I tell my friends that all the time….Thanks for your support.
Expectations always lead to problems for ourselves and others. Very good advice, Patrice!
I needed this reminder today. Thank you. More water, more choosing to do happy stuff.
Good for you! This is great advice for those who need it! I love that quote too. I always choose HAPPY and am thankful for that blessing in my life. May you and your readers find it too. Visiting from BlogShareLearn.
WendyShat, Thanks for stopping by glad to hear your story. Love that hat.
Wow, I really needed to read this. I’ve been feeling down today. We spent way too much this holiday and already feel a big hole in my pocket. I keep thinking about my bank balance.
Shiny Maharaja, Don’t let it get you down…Be happy you have your family and health. Have a blessed holiday.
Great post!!
Daily small steps are so important!! I wish for happy holidays to all.
We have to plaster on false smiles for our kids most Christmases. Something always happens on the run up to the big day – family illness, death or theft. I am actually dreading this next week “/
Louise, It’s not a good time for me. The Holiday season is often dread but this Christmas I told my family we will pretend to be happy because it will! Thanks for your support.
There are so many expectations bound up with the Christmas season. It is ok to opt out of the ones that make you unhappy and concentrate on the ones you enjoy.
Teresa Bowen, Great advice, the expectation, pressure and stress of gift giving can make a person feel depressed. It’s the little things I cherish these days and I am lucky to surround myself with others who are equally charitable.
I do believe in fake it til you make it. Pretend to be happy and you will find that you are!
Stephanie, Pretend to be happy works for me. Thanks for your support.
Sometimes if you pretend to be happy you will actually become happier
I appreciate you sharing this with us. I know depression can be a tough fight, but I’m glad to see you taking a stand. Love your tips and how you’re accepting yourself! Merry Christmas!
FabEllis,Teenage Depression it’s a cause dear to my heart a “tough fight as you say but this Christmas I am going to be happy. Merry Christmas!
This is a wonderful post. So many people suffer in silence with depression. It’s a battle, but it can be conquered one day at a time.
We all need to just put more emphasis on what the holiday is truly for. Praising the Lord, spending time with family and sharing love! 🙂
Jamie, Spending time with family is wonderful….There are many teens without families so sad. Thank you for your support.
Love this! Set the intention and the feelings will follow.
You know, I had never thought about diet and water intake to be a precursor to happiness, but I guess when you think about it, if you eat crappy you feel crappy and that gives you a crappy attitude. It’s amazing how when things come full circle, the little things make a big difference!
Self-acceptance is probably the single most important thing I learned on the road to conquering depression – that and self-compassion, where you recognize that you deserve love in any moment, no matter how low you feel. This is such powerful advice, wrapped up in such a beautifully written post. Thank you for sharing this and inspiring people to live happier, more fulfilling lives. That’s what I aim to do every single day, too!
Michael Noker, Welcome, glad you got a chance to read my blog post. When we learn to accept ourselves others will be less likely to misuse us. Self-acceptance is not easy … forgiving yourself is the start to release the hurt. (Looks like you are on your way) Motto smile more can’t hurt anyone thanks for your support.
I think a lot of people struggle to be happy at Christmas time. I don’t suffer from depression and it’s not my favorite time of year at all. I do all of the expected things, but I’m just counting down until it can all be over and I can get on with my life. #weekendblogshare
I totally feel you on the holiday sadness, but I think it’s wonderful you’re choosing to be happy this year! We can all do with a little more joy in our lives, so why not, right? 🙂 Wishing you the happiest holiday yet!
How lovely! Reminds me a bit of my post-election strategy (I live in the Land Where Trump Was Actually Elected President). I am super extra nice to EVERYONE. Even people who aren’t nice to me first. I open doors, I smile, I offer seats on the bus. It feels really really good. Oh, I found you on #weekendblogshare Have a wonderful weekend!
Hi Patrice,
I see your community loved your post! So glad!
Thanks for bringing your post to the Blogger’s Pit Stop last week.
Janice
Thanks Janice for your support.