Dealing with an Overcritical Mother? Show Love.
If you’re Dealing with an Overcritical Mother, show her love. Yes, it can feel like your heart is being torn in two. Love and judgment will seem one and the same. Duty, loyalty, and your own feelings of love for your parent can become a burden as time goes by. I heard a young girl once say, “I will never be perfect, Mommy,” and the mother said, “That’s why I didn’t name you perfection. My love, you are who you are.” Don’t wait until Mother’s Day to talk things out.
When There’s Too Much Criticism it make a person feel worthless.
Anyone with a critical mother, doesn’t know this kind of peace in their home. Everything must be perfect. So often it feels like your mother’s very affection depends on perfection. You may be the son who never gets it. Perhaps your brother always gets straight A’s. Or, he has amazing hair and smiles and helps the elderly—even when he’s angry. His life seems easier, less stressed, and filled with more love.
Dealing with an OverCritical Mother show love
We are naturally opposed to nitpicking. Constructive criticism can help us grow. But problems occur when mothers are ONLY ever critical. A long time ago, I read something that resonated with me and has stayed with me since. I’ve applied it to ALL my relationships. This concept was originally about parent/child relationships, though. I’m sure that at least some of you will have heard of this analogy.
Have an OverCritical Mother show her love
The Relationship Bank Account
The deposit-and-withdraw method is like a give and take. You know what it feels like when someone keeps taking and never gives anything back in return. You feel like you’re being bled dry.
Relationships are like a bank account. If you keep drawing out the money, you’ll soon be left with a zero balance. So you have to keep putting money back into the account. Then, if you want to make withdrawals, it won’t damage the final balance. Makes sense right? Apply that analogy to dealing with an overcritical mother every day.
This type of behavior can deplete the reserves of a good relationship. Harsh criticism has been noted to damage a child’s self-esteem. This can last long into adulthood. Often, it taints everything else in life and can make you feel depressed.
Understand Your Overcritical Mother
So how to deal with a critical mother? Remember that your mother may have experienced the same or worse. It’s easy to think that if your parent experienced something similar, she would never chastise. But we’re creatures of habit. We tend to settle into patterns that we know and are comfortable with. Despite bad choices that tend to dictate our lives, we fear change. It’s difficult for many people. That’s why so many people confine themselves to what’s familiar.
Dealing with an overcritical mother show love.
Mom may not know how to do good. But she does want choices for you. All Parents wants the best for their kids. They may not realized. Just how much damage they’re doing. People change all the time often for the best. And you can help mama to see what she is doing hurt. She wants to do good by her children. This can translate into control and the “my way or the highway” approach to parenting.
Let her know you understand in a respectable way.
Mom may not know how to be the best parent. But she does want choices for you. All parents want the best for their kids. They may not realize just how much damage they’re doing. People change all the time, often for the best. And you can help Mama to see what she is doing to hurt. She wants to do right by her children. This can translate into control and the “my way or the highway” approach to parenting.
Dealing With an Overcritical Mother? Show Love
You won’t have to live her life forever. You may find yourself living for that day when you’re no longer in the same space. However, that’s not always the best way either. If anything ever happens, there will be unresolved issues between you. Are you willing to let that happen?
Do your best to show your mother the love and acceptance you wish she showed you. You may be surprised at how things change. Your mother loves you. But she can’t or doesn’t know how to show you love. So, it’s your chance to show her.
Be patient. She will come around. Heal her inner child. It may have been wounded and doing so will heal yours. You’ll feel happier with yourself. Mending the relationship takes time. Forgive her. It will help you move forward. Show her love before it’s too late. You only have so much time together.