Rebuilding Trust Takes Time
Rebuilding trust after trauma doesn’t happen overnight. Sadly, there are people in this world who abuse their power and betray the vulnerability of others. If you’ve experienced that kind of violation, know this: it is not your fault. Trusting your instincts from now on is not weakness—it’s wisdom.
“I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘I love you.’ … There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.”
— Maya Angelou
Rebuilding Trust After Trauma
If something feels off—like being alone with someone in a locker room or car—you have the full right to remove yourself. Trust your gut. Share your discomfort with someone you trust. After a betrayal, it can be hard to feel whole again. Whether you’ve had to undergo painful medical exams, or you’re simply trying to piece together your identity again, it’s completely normal to feel lost or broken.
“Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.”
— Bill Cosby
In Relationships, Rebuilding Takes Compassion
The first truth you must accept is this: It was not your fault.
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Not if you stayed in an abusive relationship.
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Not if you wore something “provocative.”
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Not if you trusted the wrong person.
Blame lies with the perpetrator—not with you. Instead of turning your pain inward, treat yourself with the same compassion you’d show a friend. Let yourself feel. Anger, sorrow, numbness—whatever it is, those feelings are valid. The only emotion that doesn’t belong is self-blame.
Practical Steps to Rebuild Trust
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Track your triggers: Take note of what situations or places make you feel unsafe.
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List your safe spaces: Write down places, people, or routines that bring comfort.
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Journal your feelings: Give them shape and power through writing.
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Practice grounding techniques like deep breathing or visualization.
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Avoid shame spirals: Replace “Why did I…” with “I did the best I could.”
You Are Not Alone
Who do you trust? A parent, sibling, friend, or coach? Talking to someone you feel safe with is a critical first step. When you’re ready, seek help from a therapist. A mental health professional can guide you toward healing and help you create a safe internal world again.
If you’re in a relationship, couples therapy might help too. It can give your partner the tools to better support you, and foster trust between both of you.
Sometimes Letting Go Is Healing, Too
Some relationships are not worth holding onto—especially if they contribute to your pain. If someone blames you for your trauma, mocks your boundaries, or dismisses your feelings, that person is not a friend. Cutting ties might feel scary, but protecting your healing is worth it.
Rebuilding Trust Is Possible
This journey will not be easy. But piece by piece, moment by moment, you can and will rebuild the trust that was taken from you. You deserve a life where you feel safe, respected, and seen. And while it takes time, the process of healing proves that you are stronger than what happened to you.
You are not broken. You are rebuilding.