5 Social Skills Conversation Starters__ avoid being a outcast
Developing social skills in groups is very important. It teaches kids how to behave in different multiethnic settings. If social skills are not learned early, some kids can be made to feel like outcasts. There will be some of you who just don’t struggle with making conversation, no matter how bad you feel—count yourself lucky.
Conversations with new friends
There are a vast majority of people who don’t feel as great at making conversation and even more people who feel like social outcasts after attempting to exchange a few words with a new acquaintance. “Everyone has their own ways of expression. I believe we all have a lot to say, but finding ways to say it is more than half the battle.” — Criss Jami.
Social Skills Conversation Starters Can Help
For those of you who don’t find it so easy, there is hope. It’s a two-fold remedy that I’d like to encourage you all to try at least once, if not twice—maybe three times—just to be sure you get it right. Before we tackle how to start the talk, let’s get into the science of starting a conversation—successfully.
It’s ok to feel uncomfortable with new people
First, remember that most people at some point in time struggle with interpersonal conversation. If you make an attempt to talk to someone and it’s a little awkward, don’t fret. Smile it off rather than become anxious about it. This way you’ll figure out what the person DOESN’T want to talk about, and you can move on.
Advice Comes Cheap and Lasts a Long Time
Asking for advice shows people you are open and want to communicate. It doesn’t have to be deep advice. Breaking the ice with an advice conversation starter could sound a little like this: What do you think about all of this, is it really worth it? (For example: if you are at an event or a lecture). Your communication skills take time so smile and be patient. Not everyone you meet will want to talk to you, but your smile will more than likely break the ice.
Ask the Person a Question About Themselves
People often open up to you when you offer them a platform to talk about themselves. If you’re at an event, ask the person what they like most about the event? Who was their favorite performer? If you are at a party, talk about the food and ask the person about their favorite dip or meal. Staying off the cell phone and social media makes you look more approachable.
Some examples:
- I haven’t seen you around before—have you just recently moved here?
- I’m so glad to see a new face. Are you enjoying yourself?
Compliments Used as Social Skills
Here are some more ideas. The key here is to choose something that suits the person you’re trying to talk to.
- Wow, that dress suits your eyes!
- You’ve got such a pleasant nature. It seems like you’re really happy to be here.
- I love the perfume you’re wearing. It reminds me of something, but I can’t quite think of what.
- I’m so surprised at your honesty! It’s a breath of fresh air.
Relatable but not Negative Conversation
Making someone comfortable during conversation is the key to a smooth experience. People are naturally drawn to positivity, so look for that upside, and focus on that while still being relatable.
How to change the way people see you
If you’re reading this, you must have wondered about how people perceive you at least once or twice in your life. We all wonder about this and everyone has to reinvent themselves as they grow. Adding a few key characteristics or some vital elements.
Conversation topics could sound similar to this:
- Wow, that assignment was hard! What did you think?
NOT
Oh my gosh, our teacher is such a slob. I don’t like him at all—what do you think?
- I’m a little nervous for the day ahead. But still, the challenge may be exciting! What do you think?
NOT
I’m so not looking forward to this boring activity AGAIN. I wish I could run away.
WEST HAVEN, Conn. (WTNH)—Elementary schools in West Haven are creating a positive school climate using a program called the “Second Step.” It teaches students skills on how to pay attention in class, control behavior, and get along with others.
Admit Your Shortcomings About Your Communication Skills
If you’ve really got no idea what to say, but you still want to make the effort to talk to someone, let them know that you struggle. This will put a little of the responsibility on them, and really, most people don’t mind this at all.
You could say:
- “I’m really not that great at starting a conversation, but I thought I’d come say hi. My name is…”
- “I’m sure there are a thousand things to talk about, but I couldn’t think of one.”
Your conversation will be just fine if you remember that you are not the only nervous one entering into a new connection. Communication skills practice can start anywhere try it. Rejection is not at all enjoyable, but then, no one enjoys rejection. If you keep smiling, making eye contact and reaching out—you will be a pro ice-breaker.
Great advice! I always love to compliment people when I first meet them, its that open door for an invitation of a new person to open up to you better! It works!
Very good advice. Sometimes conversations flow naturally and other times it is an awkward silence. Compliments are always a great way to at the very least get a smile out of someone.
Great tips! I’m working on teaching my daughter social skills.
Where was this when I was in school? I was always the awkward shy girl. I have improved so much when it comes to social settings now that I am an adult.
This is a great post. I’ve always struggled with my social abilities, but having an outgoing child has forced me to become more of a people-person.
I think teaching social skills is essential for kids. And parents should be doing it too.
These are great conversation starters. I used to be so shy when I was younger, but I became more of an extrovert as I grew older.
This is great advice for kids who may be shy. It’s always good to have a few convo starters in your arsenal if you are feeling like reaching out but don’t know how.
These tips are perfect for someone that needs a little reassurance before venturing out to a big event. In person Social skills is something people don’t put to use as often as we used to.
Felissa (Two Little Cavaliers), Reassurance is needed not only for big event as you say but to also help adolescent who are shy.
I completely agree with you that having (and teaching) solid social skills is important. It just makes so many things easier…making friends, working as a team, and even builds confidence. I’m grateful that I’m pretty comfortable with most social situations and can thank my mom for being a great example.
Great tips! Social media had definitely changed the way we communicate. Developing good social skills is invaluable and can take you far in life.
I agree that compliments are a good thing, but over the top flattery is just annoying and comes across fakey.
Great tips.. still teaching my son social skills. He is getting better
What a great tips, I teaching my son about social skills and he learned. I’d like to spread this.
I’m not that good when it comes to communicating with people for the first time or maybe opening a conversation. I feel awkward most of the time. So I just wait for people to talk to me. These are nice tips though. I could really use them.
Elizabeth O. I understand it take time!
Oh my gosh, seriously all you have to do is ask someone about themselves sometimes and that’s it. The flood gates open, lol
These are great tips for people who are introverts, shy, or just new to networking. It can be hard to get the conversation going.
These are some great ideas! When I first moved and would be in awkward social situations I always would ask a the person about themselves. Swear 9 out of 10 times it works like a charm. People love to talk about themselves lol
I’m a total introvert, and doing these things has helped me get out of my shell. My husband is so good at it. I like to watch him to see how he gets people talking.
Stephanie, Being around the support of kind and gentle person can often help you to take the first step.
I think I am luck in that I can start a conversation. I like these tips. Sometimes there are people that need a little push to start up.
Social skills didn’t come natural to me until I got older. I still get a few butterflies in my stomach in new situations.