Parents Should Avoid These Discipline Pitfalls
Raising a child through their pre-teen years and into adolescence can feel overwhelming. Mistakes are inevitable, but correcting them as early as possible can make all the difference. Don’t wait until your child is a full-fledged teen to revamp your discipline strategy—start now.
“There’s nothing more complicated — or fragile — than the relationship between parents and their children. It’s like no other relationship and no one tells you how to make it work. Either you find your way or you don’t.”
— Michael Thomas Ford
1. Not Standing United
When parents don’t present a united front, teens learn quickly how to manipulate the cracks. Don’t allow your child to play one parent against the other. Talk with your partner about your discipline preferences, find common ground, and stick to it together.
2. Guilt-Tripping Your Child
Using guilt to control behavior is emotionally damaging and long-lasting. It chips away at your child’s self-worth and can follow them into adulthood. If you suspect you’re doing this, talk with your child. Ask how your approach makes them feel, and be willing to change.
3. Being Inconsistent
Kids thrive on structure. If your rules change daily—or your “no” becomes “yes” under pressure—it creates confusion. Set firm boundaries and stick to them. Consistency fosters security, trust, and respect.
4. Lying to Your Child
Even white lies can break trust. If you want your child to be truthful, you must model truthfulness yourself. That includes honesty about hard topics. Remember: children notice more than we think. Keep your promises and practice transparency where it matters most.
5. Not Modeling Good Behavior
Your actions speak louder than lectures. If you want your teen to be respectful, calm, and responsible—be that person yourself. Children learn by example far more than by instruction.
6. Allowing the Child to Make the Rules
Parenting is not a popularity contest. Teens need leadership, not a friendship based on leniency. While their voice matters, the final say belongs to you. Don’t allow your authority to be negotiated into submission.
7. Giving Too Much Freedom, Too Soon
Teens deserve freedom, but only within clear, healthy boundaries. For example, allow emotional expression—but with respect. Encourage individuality—but with accountability. Freedom without limits becomes chaos, and your teen may feel overwhelmed by choices they aren’t ready to manage.
Final Thought: Parenting Takes Patience and Perseverance
Discipline isn’t about control—it’s about guidance, respect, and boundaries. Stay patient and grounded. If you’re struggling, remember you’re not alone. Keep showing up, modeling the values you want to instill, and being the parent your teen needs—even when they push back.
Discipline is not a punishment. It’s an act of love with structure.
These are some very important tips I think every parent should read. Thanks for sharing. I like the value your blog provides. Good advice.
Being in education almost 20 years, I definitely see the result of these mistakes. Most often, parents just do not discipline or try to discipline once things are too far gone. Therefore, children expect other adult to receive them in the same manner as their parents.
For parents who try to “parent” from the friend perspective, do stop that habit.
These are very good tips! It’s important to be honest with your kids but on a level that they will be able to grasp. My children are 4 & 6 years old. Great advice!
Emerald, You are so correct it’s important for the kids to grasp on their level and also for parents to understand and learn from their discipline mistakes.
Love these tips! My oldest turns 13 this year and right now it’s a fine line between trying to nuture her and also letting her grow up. Such a tough age especially for girls and how they treat one another and trying to explain to my daughter how to get along with them.
These are great tips and things I practice as well with my own children. My mom used to give me horrible guilt trips, which I’ve internalized and still do to myself even now. Thankfully, I have a good husband who reminds me I don’t need to feel guilty.
Having both parent who are consistently united in the discipline of the children can make a difference.
Great post. I admit my discipline has been a trial and error type of thing. Things that worked with me or my husband just don’t work with my son! But we always present a united front even if we don’t agree! This parenting gig is a process!
Lashawn trail an error I understand you fully I have been down that road. But if both parent keep up consistently the kids will get it united is the key. Thanks for your support
Being consistent has been so important when raising my son. He remembers what I say and why and it helps eliminate any confusion.
Such a great list! These kids today-wooosaw! So different from how I remember being raised. Allowing them to set the rules and have to much freedom shouldn’t even come up since being a parent means parenting and as you said being a good role model.
Being a good role model is so important, and so many parents fail here. I know we all make mistakes, but I hate to see when parents are hard on a child for simply mirroring their behaviour.
Donna, Adult are expected to act a certain way. If we were never taught how ……We can’t be a role Model for our child that is how we fail.
Great tips! Thanks for sharing. The consistency part is always the hard one for me.
Good post! I don’t have children. But, my firends definitely face some of these challenges on a daily basis. Kids are so much smarter now, and I think you have to have a plan of how you want to handle them. These are some great tips, and I’ll definitely share them with my friends with children.
Pamela, glad you like this post hope you would share with your friends who has kids. Thanks for your support