Sticks and Stones… and Lasting Pain
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Whoever coined that phrase clearly never walked the hallways of an American middle school.
Today, many children head to school carrying invisible burdens—feeling they aren’t pretty enough, smart enough, cool enough, or thin enough. For teens already in a fragile emotional state, bullying doesn’t just sting—it can scar for life. And in the most tragic cases, it can lead to violence or even suicide as they try to escape cruelty and isolation.
Bullying Hurts – And It’s Real
I still remember the sting of hateful words in high school. I was the target of relentless bullying from a group of mean girls who seemed to take joy in making me miserable. My mother’s reassurance—“they’re just jealous”—felt dismissive and didn’t make the pain any less real.
They mocked my clothes, laughed at my shoes, and made public jokes about my appearance. Once, they loudly claimed I stuffed my bra or spread false rumors about my personal life. One day, they followed me between classes, bumping me from all sides. In that crowded hallway, I had never felt more alone. The sympathetic glances of my so-called friends only deepened the humiliation. No one wanted to be the next target, so they said nothing.
Breaking Point
I wasn’t a fighter. I hated confrontation. I feared suspension, and I cared deeply about my spotless school record. But the daily dread of walking the halls became unbearable. I often stayed home pretending to be sick—just to avoid them. But every time I returned, the bullying was worse.
Then one Tuesday, everything changed. As I rushed from one class to another, the ringleader grabbed my hair. Something snapped. My fists, almost instinctively, lashed out. I don’t even remember what I hit first, but I felt the grip on my hair release, then a punch landed on my cheek. In that whirlwind of fear, rage, and adrenaline, I fought back.
The Aftermath
I ended up in the principal’s office with a swollen face, scared out of my mind. I had never been in trouble before. The other girl was called in first. When it was my turn, the principal acknowledged my clean record but still suspended me.
After three days at home, I returned to whispers in the hallway—this time of respect. I had stood up for myself. But the emotional scars remained.
Why Bullying Hurts Forever
Bullying doesn’t always leave bruises on the outside. It carves deep into the heart. That fear, that shame, and those haunting memories can linger well into adulthood. But bullies often hurt too. While victims must never be blamed, we also need to ask: Why does a bully behave this way? Often, they need help, guidance, or healing just as much as their victims.
The Role of Adults
To end the cycle of bullying, adults must lead by example. Children mirror our behavior—how we speak to them, how we treat one another, how we navigate conflict. Ask yourself: Are you the kind of adult you’d want your child to become?
We must raise a generation that values kindness over cruelty, empathy over mockery, and courage over silence. Because bullying doesn’t just break bones—it breaks spirits. And the pain can last a lifetime.
What do you think?
Has bullying impacted you or someone you know? Share your thoughts in the comments—your story might help someone find their voice.
Patrice, I am so very sorry to read your words and know this happened to you. I can feel your terror.
My mother often quoted that slogan – usually to break up an argument at home – although I was punished if I was the one using the words.
I transferred schools at the beginning of 5th grade. I felt ignored by the girls who had known each other so long. I hoped things would be different in high school but since we all travelled along together, I lacked real confidence and skills to make new friends.
I remember riding the street car or bus daydreaming until a certain turn and then the sick feeling would return.
I remember going to my 30th reunion and walking back to my car wondering why I had thought anything would be different with our “maturity”.
Elaine,
Thank you for your kind words. Experience made us stronger.
You are strong, Patrice. I thought of you in the night as the winds wailed around the house. You took your pain and turned it into good becoming a nurse and ministering life and goodness and kindness to hurting people.
Elaine, Glad I was able to make a difference in your life. Continue to share & comment.