🎄 Survival Guide for Parents
You know the look: your teenager in the corner, arms crossed, earbuds in, eyes rolling. The attitude queen. Or the silent brooder. The thought of spending Christmas with teenagers can strike fear into even the most seasoned parent. Between gift dilemmas and convincing them to emerge from their rooms, the challenge is real.
Teenagers are wired for independence and self-focus, making family festivities feel more like a chore than a celebration. But with a few smart strategies, you can make the holidays joyful for everyone—including your teens.
✅ 1. Give Them a Choice
Teens crave autonomy. The more they feel like they’re being told what to do, the more likely they are to push back. Instead of issuing orders, offer them choices. This simple shift gives them a sense of control and makes cooperation more likely.
For example:
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“Would you like to help pick out the tree or wrap some gifts?”
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“Would you prefer to help cook or set the table?”
When they choose, they’re more likely to engage without resistance.
🚫 2. Don’t Force It
Trying to drag your teen into every holiday activity? Let it go. Forcing participation will only create tension.
Pro tip: If they don’t want to tag along to pick the Christmas tree—let them stay home. It’s not the end of the world, and they may come around later when the pressure is off.
🎁 3. Give Them Real Responsibility
Want a smoother Christmas? Involve your teen in meaningful ways. Give them tasks they can own—and praise them for stepping up.
Try these ideas:
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Ask them to take younger siblings to see Santa
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Pay them to make snacks or serve guests at gatherings
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Let them create a holiday playlist
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Invite their friends over for a mini decorating party with snacks
The more trusted and included they feel, the more they’ll want to contribute.
🎨 4. Keep Them Active & Engaged
Especially for teen boys, staying active—physically or creatively—can keep moods in check. Idle time equals boredom, and boredom often turns into conflict.
Fun activity ideas:
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Decorate their own bedroom
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Do Christmas baking
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Personalize Santa hats with glitter names
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Grocery shop for a local food bank
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Volunteer to serve food at a shelter
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Host a Wackiest Secret Santa: Each person brings a $25 gift. Your teen gets to judge the craziest one and give a prize!
💬 5. Talk to Them—Genuinely
Sometimes the best gift you can give your teen is your attention and understanding. Check in. Ask how they’re doing. Be curious about their music, opinions, or plans for the new year. When teens feel heard and seen, they’re less defensive and more open.
🕊️ Christmas Doesn’t Have to Be a Battleground
It’s easy to view the teenage years as an emotional minefield. But with a little patience, flexibility, and a whole lot of love, the holidays can be a time of connection—not confrontation.
So breathe deeply, pick your battles wisely, and remember: even teens want to feel the magic of the season. They just may need it delivered differently.
I lost the whole “I need” and “I want” thing of Christmas when I was 16. From then on, I didn’t care about gifts or what I got. I stopped asking and if my parents and family got me things, great, if not no big deal. Now with my niece, I noticed when she was 16… She was no where like that. She is still heavily about presents and gets mad when she doesn’t get what she wants. I think when it comes to that, it is something some people don’t grow out of while others take a very long time to.
Britanica, Teenagers it get better with age. Glad you like this post. Thank you for your support
My kids will be there soon enough and I will definitely try some of these out. I think giving them responsibilities makes sense.
Great advice. I have grandkids who becoming teenagers and their attitude is really starting to get bad it seems about everything.
Tammy, We have to keep reminding ourselves how we use to be…But for Christmas get the teenagers involve with choice.
I agree about giving them a choice and not forcing them. I had two teenagers and you are right about not winning when you force them.
OurFamilyWorld, Teenagers I found given them responsibility and choices make them feel respected …Part of growing up. Thanks for stopping by and giving your support.
I think it’s important for kids of all ages, but especially teens, to get involved in some type of giving to those less fortunate.
I completely agree about giving them options to choose from, all of which are ok with you. They don’t need to know that part. 😉
Christmas is always a nice way to bond with your kids, especially the one that are going through a phase in their life wherein they need to find a sense of individuality. Thanks for these suggestions, they will help parents a lot.
We had a family Christmas get together tonight and I put my teenager to work. She helped me cook for the first time, and I think she loved it because she told everyone the dishes she made.
Stephanie,This was a great idea allowing your daughter to cook for the first time. Small steps built trust make responsible adults in the future.