Sibling Rivalry
The home should be a place of peace—but for many families, it can feel more like a battleground. Sibling rivalry is one of the most common challenges parents face. Constant arguments, shouting matches, and petty fights can make a peaceful day feel like World War III.
If you’re constantly playing referee between your children, you’re not alone. Sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up, but it doesn’t have to dominate your household. With patience, structure, and understanding, harmony can be restored.
Understanding the Root Cause
As parents, we love all of our children equally—but that’s not always how they perceive it. Children often compare themselves to their siblings, and if they feel one child is favored, jealousy can grow. This can create resentment, competition, and emotional distance.
To combat this, it’s important to:
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Acknowledge each child’s uniqueness
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Avoid making comparisons
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Give equal love, even if it’s expressed differently
Setting clear rules and expectations about acceptable behavior is key. Let them know that fighting and name-calling are not allowed, and explain the value of respect and empathy.
How to Deal With Sibling Rivalry and Improve Harmony
Here are practical steps to help improve relationships among your children:
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Give Individual Attention
Spend one-on-one time with each child. This helps them feel valued and less likely to compete for attention. -
Create Family Rituals
Weekly family dinners or game nights create shared memories. These moments of connection can naturally reduce friction. -
Hold Family Meetings
Schedule time twice a week to talk openly. Let your children express their feelings and concerns. Teach them how to listen without interrupting, and problem-solve together. -
Encourage Responsibility
Help older siblings understand their role as role models. Empower them to lead by example—not by dominance. -
Praise Cooperation Over Competition
Highlight teamwork when they help one another or share peacefully. Positive reinforcement goes a long way in shaping behavior.
Promote Harmony at Home
While you can’t choose your siblings, you can grow to become each other’s closest allies. With effort, consistency, and love, your children can learn to coexist—and even enjoy each other’s company.
Home should be a place where everyone feels safe, heard, and respected. By addressing sibling rivalry head-on, you’re giving your children tools for healthy relationships that will last a lifetime.
We’ve entered the stage where one day they’re best friends and then the next day they’re at each other’s throats. Hopefully we’ll get past that someday.
Scott, All you can do is hope and continue to teach your twins good social skills.
I like the “fights are not allowed” rule!!
Sandra, Glad you like it. Thanks for your support.
We have six kids so we have a lot of that fighting stuff over here. Did you know that most of the domestic disturbance calls are for sibling rivalry?
Sharon, I did not know that domestic disturbance calls & sibling rivalry. Thanks for sharing. We love our kids and as long as we remain neural it will work out. Children hate it if parent spend more time with one (favoritism).
This is always hard. My kids were besties one day and beasties the next.
Debbie, Yes, it is always hard seeing the kids fight so much. We always think are they every going to stop and sometime this continue in adult life. As a parent we can only remain neural talk , show less favoritism and hopefully it will work out. Glad you like it.
A beautifully written article and with amazing tips and tricks. Thanks and I must say it is very helping.
Lubna, Glad you like it. Thanks for support.
I have been known to bribe them. It works.
Patranila, Be careful of bribes I call temporary fix’s. Glad you like this post.