Feeling Left Out Online? You’re Not Alone
Have you ever found yourself scrolling through Facebook and suddenly feeling like your life is… well, boring? You’re not imagining it. The Facebook Live notifications keep popping up: your college friend is at a beachside resort, your coworker is streaming from a trendy coffee shop, and that influencer you follow is throwing the “party of the year.”
Meanwhile, you’re sitting on the couch in sweatpants, eating last night’s leftovers. The comparison feels almost automatic—and it stings.
But here’s the truth: what you see online isn’t real life. It’s the highlight reel.
The Illusion of Perfection on Social Media
Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok allow us to curate our lives. Every post, photo, and caption is carefully chosen—and let’s be honest, most people choose glamour over honesty.
What you don’t see:
- The credit card bills behind that vacation photo.
- The arguments that happened before the smiling selfie.
- The loneliness that hides behind hundreds of likes.
It’s easy to forget that behind every polished live stream, there’s an unfiltered reality no one is broadcasting.
Why Facebook Live Feels So Real (But Isn’t)
Unlike pre-edited Instagram posts, Facebook Live gives the illusion of raw, unfiltered moments. But let’s be clear—it’s still a performance. People go live to share their best moments, not their worst.
They’ll stream sipping lattes in a chic café, strolling down a sunny boardwalk, or dancing at an exclusive party. Do they go live while paying bills? Cleaning the bathroom? Sitting alone feeling anxious? Not likely.
Facebook Live feels authentic because it happens in real time, but what’s shown is still carefully chosen.
Why Do We Feel Envious? The Comparison Trap
The human brain is wired for comparison. It’s a survival mechanism—but on social media, it backfires. When we compare our full, messy lives to someone’s best 10% online, we lose every time.
It’s no longer just “keeping up with the Joneses.” Social media means we’re now comparing ourselves with thousands of virtual Joneses, 24/7.
Research even shows that heavy social media use is linked to higher rates of anxiety and depression, especially among teens and young adults. That’s because these platforms turn life into a constant scoreboard—likes, comments, shares—and we internalize that score as our self-worth.
Let’s Be Honest: Is It Real?
Ask yourself:
- How many of your Facebook “friends” are actual friends?
- Would they show up when you’re in crisis—or just hit “like”?
- How many of them are posting for validation, not connection?
The truth is, most people post what they want others to believe—not what’s actually happening.
And that’s okay. It’s their highlight reel. The problem comes when we forget that our behind-the-scenes should never be compared to someone else’s edited performance.
Breaking Free from Social Media Envy
So, how do we stop feeling inadequate every time a Facebook Live pops up? Here are some practical tips:
1. Pause Before You Scroll
When you feel that pang of envy, stop. Take a deep breath and remind yourself: “This is their highlight reel, not their whole life.”
2. Limit Your Exposure
You don’t have to quit social media—but you can control it. Mute or unfollow accounts that trigger negative feelings. Your mental health > their curated life.
3. Practice Gratitude Offline
Instead of focusing on what you lack, focus on what you have. Write down three things you’re grateful for every day. Gratitude shifts your brain away from comparison.
4. Create, Don’t Compare
Instead of scrolling endlessly, do something creative—cook a new recipe, paint, journal, or dance in your living room. Life happens off-screen.
5. Talk About It
Feeling social media envy isn’t weakness—it’s human. Talk to a friend or a therapist. Chances are, they’ve felt the same way.
Finding Joy in Real Life (Not Likes)
A friend once told me:
“It’s not about being real—it’s about faking it really well.”
That hit hard because it’s true for most online spaces.
But the joy you’re craving? It’s not in a livestream or a filtered photo. It’s in real moments that don’t need validation:
- Laughing until your stomach hurts with your best friend
- Watching the sunset without trying to photograph it
- Dancing barefoot in your kitchen at midnight just because
Those moments might not make it to the timeline—and that’s okay. They’re yours.
Live Life, Not Just Livestream It
Here’s the bottom line: The best parts of life aren’t always shared. And they don’t need to be.
So the next time you feel envious while scrolling, ask yourself:
“Am I comparing my behind-the-scenes to their highlight reel?”
Because at the end of the day, real joy isn’t found in likes, comments, or livestreams. It’s found in the unfiltered, unposted, imperfect beauty of everyday life.