Do you feel like there’s a giant hole in your heart you just can’t fill?
Do the smiles you wear in public feel more like masks than mirrors of your true self?
You’re not alone—and you’re not broken.
“It was not the feeling of completeness I so needed, but the feeling of not being empty.”
— Jonathan Safran Foer
Emptiness isn’t weakness. It’s a signal—a cry from within asking to be noticed, nurtured, and healed. When you feel hollow, it’s not because you’re unworthy; it’s because love—especially self-love—is missing.
Love Is a Basic Human Need
[“One basic need holds true for almost all humans: the need to be loved.”]
From The Journey Home: Memoir:
“When you’re lost in a sea of suffering, treading water like a drowning swimmer thinking there’s no way out… sometimes I look back and wonder how I survived. But now I know—anyone can overcome their obstacles.”
No matter how heavy your sadness feels, there is a way through it. It begins with acknowledging your pain—not running from it. That void you feel isn’t a flaw. It’s space waiting to be filled—with healing, support, and, most importantly, love.
When the Holidays Hurt
This time of year, when the world seems full of joy, can intensify feelings of isolation. Holiday dinners, laughter, cheerful songs, and family photos can make you feel like you’re on the outside looking in.
But you are not invisible.
In the past, I worked every holiday. While my coworkers gathered with their families, they began inviting me to join them. Those small acts reminded me: connection is possible, even in unexpected places.
If the holidays are hard for you, you are not alone. Your story matters.
When Nothing Feels Like Enough
You may feel like your accomplishments aren’t satisfying. You hit a goal, and the emptiness still lingers. You keep busy to distract yourself—but when the noise fades, that hollow feeling returns.
Sometimes, you don’t even know how to describe it.
[bctt tweet=”Anyone can overcome his or her obstacles.”]
It’s okay to say: “I don’t know how I feel.”
Because healing doesn’t start with having answers.
It starts with being honest—with yourself.
Filling the Void Starts with You
To heal that hollowness, you must:
• Embrace your emotions without judgment
Feel what you feel. Don’t apologize for it. Don’t rush to fix it. Just feel.
• Seek support when you need it
A therapist, counselor, or even a trusted friend can help hold space for you. You don’t have to carry this alone.
• Let go of shame
Shame is a liar. If your past still haunts you, rewrite the narrative. Be kind to yourself.
• Reconnect with your true self
You don’t need others to complete you. You are already worthy. You just need to believe it.
You Deserve Love, Especially from Yourself
If you’re feeling empty and hollow and nothing seems to help, begin here:
Start loving yourself. Gently. Quietly. Consistently.
Let this article be a nudge, a whisper, a hand reaching through the darkness.
You can reconnect. You can heal.
You are not a void to be filled by others.
You are a soul ready to be lit up—with compassion, joy, and love.
This article was very helpful…but It’s not easy to face the causes of the void; especially if there are things in your past that could have caused the disconnection with yourself.
Sandra Smith, First try to work on what is causing you to feel so empty and give your attention to that emptiness through unconditional love. It’s not going to be easy …Keep at it.
What a great post and so true <3
Rachel Mouton, Glad you liked and thanks for your support.
I seem to feel empty when I wake up. Once I get going things fell better.
I’m blessed to be surrounded by my family and friends so I never have to feel very alone. I’m always very thankful for that!
There is a lot here to sift through, but I agree for the most part. The happiness has to come from within, not in what you think others think of you because often it’s not true. It is hard though when you are constantly surrounded by negativity, and when that happens its up to you to take higher ground, move yourself to a more positive place. Don’t give up and stay in an unhealthy place. It can be hard to make these changes, but it’s important to recognize when you need to make the changes.
Heather, Change is a good thing we have to believe this!
I am currently a nursing student, and we are studying mental health nursing right now. We were encouraged to find a blog relevant to the study materials, and I am so happy I found this one. This is such a great resource for young people who may be too nervous to talk to parents or teachers about their worries and feelings.
Allison, I am glad I am able to help and thank you for your support.
I am so lucky that I Have a wonderful family and never have this feeling.
I am just sad all over the place. I am not feeling well and I know I am depressed. I have no inner light any more and lately it is just becoming so much worse. thanks for the article
dana vento, I understand, sometime the holiday can get us down but if it persist or you empty feeling continue and you just can’t see the light talk to someone that you trust.
Those empty feelings are hard to deal with alone .I’m glad your blog is a resource for those feeling like that .
Shann Eva, empty feelings need love and support glad you liked thanks.
I think mental health is an issue we definitely need to focus on more, and loving oneself is so important!
I think I swallowed a lot of the emotions I was feeling for a long time, and it left me rather numb. This is good advice!
Great post on an issue that needs to be discussed more often.
Glad you like Chanelle and thank you for your support.
Very great article. I will feel empty if I keep doing the same things with no result or progress.
Feeling empty is sad indeed, feeling loved will fill that void but sometimes, love is hard to find. It also depends on how you see things, if you choose to neglect the people who are showering you with love then you’ll continue to feel empty.
Feeling empty is sad indeed, feeling loved will fill that void but sometimes, love is hard to find. It also depends on how you see things. If you choose to neglect the people who are showering you with love then you’ll continue to feel empty.
Elizabeth O., Yes, love unconditional can fill the void in us. Thanks for support.
I’m so thankful that I’m not felt like empty hollow, but it’s really sad because a lot people struggle in this situation. This is really helpful, I’d like to know others too.
Lexie Lane, thanks you for support and sharing.
This is very sensitive. yes I feel empty sometimes and I deny it. But I have no choice but to survive it.
polenation, I understand why you feel you have to hide feelings of emptiness its not something most people understand….Fear is what hold us back …Just do what makes you happy.
We recently started a series on this very topic on my blog. Good to see others addressing and raising awareness on such an important issue.
Claudette, I am excited to know you will be discussing this topic feeling empty further thanks for your support.
If I didn’t have the web I have no idea what I would do. I continue to be alone and without any friends for far too long.
tonygreene113, Thank you for being honest and up front about being alone.
Difficult message to share but so important to understand you are not alone.
I am very lucky to be surrounded by people who support and love me.
I love that you are reaching out an talking about this topic. Yes, sometimes this feelings are just part of life but it’s also very important to know that it’s okay to reach out for help. Thanks for reaching out to others 🙂
Lauren, Thank you for your support.
This time of year seems designed to make people who either have no family or are disconnected from family feel at their worst. Your post is helpful in allowing people to acknowledge their feelings. Thank you for writing it.
Teresa Bowen, Family mean a lot to a person especially this time of the year is hard for many who are struggling with depression.
This post resonated with me on so many levels. Holidays are hard because family time is not like “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “Christmas in Connecticut” but have underlying family tensions that can’t be ignored. I want Utopia. I want joy. I want everyone to let go of frustrations, pettiness and jealousy and move on for the sake of happiness.
You are a wonderful writer and therefore it goes without saying an incredible nurse. Thanks for writing this post. It gave me a lot to think about.
Cathy Chester, I thought I would be over this but something about family gathering that can leave you feeling empty. It is an easy fix simple deal with the empty hollow feeling and nurture by giving hope that things will get better. Moving forward and working to make the future brighter. Glad you enjoy reading.
Hi, Patrice,
I appreciate you sharing. I’m a Christian and believe we’re 3-parts, so even though there are times when I feel low or discouraged, I find great help and strength in my God, and also my family, of course.
This time of year, I’m reminded that so many people are alone and don’t have the loving support network that I’m blessed to have. I need to continue to reach out to those who are hurting, especially young mothers.
Thank so much for sharing your thoughts.
Have a blessed weekend. ????
˜Carol
Carol, I am in the service position treating teens that are struggling. The holiday is a constant reminder of deep pain and broken promise for these kids. Having faith & hope has always been my anchor when life seems to be falling apart.
As a child we look to our parents for guidance and security. Family bonding that is strong outlasts or weather any stormy night.
Excellent and necessary post, heading into the holidays. It’s ironic that what is supposed to be a joyful time turns out to be so sad for so many people.
As far as loneliness in general is concerned, I can understand it, because as someone who works from home, it does get lonely sometimes. Like Tony said, I’m thankful for social media and the interaction that provides.
K. Lee Banks, Like the video said if you are lonely find someone to talk to. Holiday’s time of the year can become unbearable for many especial without family support. We need to be active participates concern fostering the welfare of others.
Great post! The holidays can be such a rough time for many and I can only pray that they find the support they need to get through.
Ari Adams, Yes the holidays are rough times for many especially once without family support.
Great Post! We all do have the power to overcome our obstacles. We also have to show love, and accept people because we never know what they are going through.
Aisha Johnson Adams, Glad you liked yes, sometime we forget that others are hurting. Thank you for your support.
Thanks for the reminder to look out for people who may be feeling lonely during the holidays. It’s easy to be joyful for celebrating with family, but it’s important that we reach out to those without family nearby as well.
Very informative post. I know the holidays are a rough time for many. I hope they find the support that they need.
LaShawn, The holiday is a constant reminder for many who are forgotten like the children I serve.
Embracing and acknowledging your feelings is so important. People should not have to be ‘the strong one’ all the time.
Jonna, You so right learning to love your self also is very important thanks for your support.
Thanks for sharing this. The holidays can be hard on a lot of people.
Growing up family was everything and I loved spending time with the family. Now that I have my own family I realize life happens and we can’t just pick up and go hang with the family as much as we once did. I do make it a priority because I want my kids to be as close to their cousins as I was. Problem is that isn’t the reality of things.
I’ve learned that family is where ever you are and that means even if its just the four of us sometimes.
I feel alone when I think about my belated mother. Luckily I am blessed to have my family around me and keep the good times & happiness flowing.
Kara (Kay’s Ways), Sorry for your loss…Nothing like having your family around to support you it’s a blessing.
This is so timely considering the holidays are right around the corner. The typical season when depression kicks in.
I’m struggling with that feeling sometimes because of a major medical issue and I’m alone. Yet it’s only once in a while which I think Its ok to feel weak or empty in life but as long as you don’t let it rule your entire life
Michelle Butchko Reese,
It’s possible to feel empty in life. When the emptiness keeps you from doing the normal daily activities then it can become a problem. You mention loneness and major medical problem is the cause. Is there a community group in your area you can join? Having someone to talk to and support you may help to ease the loneliness. It’s important that you take care of the problem.